Through Crimson Eyes
by kanemi
Summary: This story is dead. I will later upload a summary of what I wanted to write, but otherwise don't expect anything from this. If you need a reason, read my profile.
1. Prologue v2

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine. I make no profit off of this, and should anyone who has rights to Naruto ask, I will remove this story immediately.

o o o o

_The dreams began shortly after I became a genin, after I learned the truth of who, and what, I am. Or rather, when I lost that awareness, when I first began to question my true identity. Confused? So was I. I still am. It is not pleasant, wondering day after day if you are the person you grew up thinking you were, or if the entirety of your identity is to be found in the monstrosity that was sealed inside of you. Little has changed since those days. I still wonder, and fear to know, who I truly am._

_Yet it all began with the dreams._

_I used to dream of different things; I dreamed of being acknowledged, of childhood crushes, and even of ramen. In retrospect, after everything I have experienced, they seem so very childish to me, the idle fantasies of a foolish boy. There is a part of me that recognizes that such dreams were meant to end, that such innocence was never meant to last. After all, I am a ninja now, and ninja do not have time for such... diversions. And yet, if I could dream, even once, and see Sakura smiling at me with love in her eyes, or of Iruka-sensei beaming proudly at me, it would bring me such joy._

_My dreams now are ones of death and destruction. The images and actions that I experience in them are terrible, both in the scope and depth of their depravity, and the equally disturbing emotions that they evoke within me. There is no sense of outrage, no feelings of anguish or of grief. No, instead they stir something far more terrible within me, a horrifying rage, and worse... a fierce sense of satisfaction._

_Through my dreams, I have fought a hundred battles; I have slaughtered countless thousands. I have laid waste to proud kingdoms and mighty empires, crushing fell armies as though they were nothing more than insects._

_And that is how I see them in my dreams. The roiling masses of humanity are nothing more than pitiful insects, annoyances who are too pitiful to understand just how insignificant they truly are. And yet.. I feel this savage glee in reminding them, a cruel need to put the wretched fools in their place._

_That is perhaps the worst part of these visions, the fact that there is nothing of me in them. The feelings, the emotions that I experience, they are so strong that it seems as though they wash away everything that I am, leaving behind nothing more than the depraved monstrosity that my dreams would have me be._

_These dreams, they terrify me, for I know that they are more than just dreams. They are memories, the memories of the kyuubi no kitsune, the monster that savaged the world. Yet, every image, every scent, and every sensation, I can remember them even now as clearly as though they were my own. There are times when the line blurs, when dream and reality mesh together and I can hear that siren's call, and feel the kyuubi's hatred welling up within my soul._

_Yet, is it his hatred, or is it mine? The line blurs further, until I sometimes wonder if I am the boy, dreaming I was the monster, or the monster, dreaming I am the boy._

_I do not know anymore, and that realization sends shards of despair into the depths of my soul. I have changed since that night in the forest, that night when that bastard Mizuki told me the truth. I have changed, and continue to change with every night, with every dream that I experience. Demon or human, I do not know which I will eventually become, which side of me will show itself to be the true one._

_Until I know the answers to my questions, all I can do is keep moving forward, and pray that I am human._

-exerpt from Chapter 9, _Of the Youma and the Bijuu_ of The World of the Shinobi by Uzumaki Naruto

o o o o

It was not a gentle awakening.

Naruto gasped as he came awake, his back arching in his bed as his hands clawed the air. He rolled, tumbling head first onto the floorboards of his apartment, his legs still trapped in his thick blankets. He reached out with his hands, pushing himself off the floor as he-

_-licked the blood off of each of his fingers, savoring the metallic taste. For such wretched insects, these humans tasted so very good-_

-gagged, choking until it hurt to breathe, yet wishing he could do more, wishing he had eaten something if only so that he could feel better after throwing it up.

He coughed, eyes watering from his exertions as he spat on the floor, hoping to clear his mouth of the awful taste. It didn't, and he was left with the bitter taste of acid in his mouth, mixing together with the phantom taste of blood from the dream. He coughed again, wondering if he was going to start dry-heaving again, wishing that he would, if only to have something to focus his mind on, something other than the images that were still burned into his brain.

"What the hell was that?" he asked, speaking aloud if only to reassure himself that he was here, on his floor, and not off terrorizing some human village.

He already knew the answer to that question. He had been having the same dream, if it really was just a dream, for the past week, ever since that fight in the forest, ever since that night where Mizuki tried to kill him, and Iruka acknowledged him.

Ever since he had learned that he was the container for the nine-tailed fox.

While initially exuberant over having been granted the rank of genin, now he felt something different creeping its way through his mind, a sensation that snaked its way through the confidence and bravado that was his normal routine. While it was certainly not a new emotion to the young ninja, never before had he felt it so strongly as he did now.

Terror.

He tasted the world in his mind, his thoughts feeling it out as one would a painful injury, his thoughts skirting around the concept, testing it, feeling the borders of it, yet too uncertain of the wound to confront it directly.

He had thought about telling Iruka-sensei about the dreams, but something always stopped him. There was a voice within him, the voice of a small child who had never been loved, never been wanted, and who was very terrified of returning to that dark world. Even though Iruka-sensei had acknowledged him, had praised him, the sensation was too new, too raw to risk endangering it. While he genuinely liked the man, Naruto couldn't help but wonder if the his teacher would continue to acknowledge him if he knew he was dreaming about the kyuubi.

Naruto frowned, the thought of Iruka-sensei sparking something in his brain. Something that he was forgetting... Something about class...?

"Ack! I'm late for the graduation!"

o o o o

Author's Notes: Based upon a passage in the _Zhuangzi_

"Once upon a time, I, Chuang Chou, dreamt I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly. I was conscious only of my happiness as a butterfly, unaware that I was Chou. Soon I awaked, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man."


	2. Chapter 1 v2

Disclaimer: See Prologue

o o o o

"_It should be recognized that the entirety of a shinobi village is devoted to battle. Those who are not combatants themselves are employed in ways that support those who are. Even the children of these families devote themselves to learning to be exceptional ninja. While this is perhaps a natural, and even inevitable aspect of a society devoted to war, it does raise a very important question: should a society that encourages its very children to be cold-blooded killers be allowed to exist?"_

--excerpt from Chapter 1, _A Ninja Society_ of The World of the Shinobi by Uzumaki Naruto

o o o o

Naruto dressed hurriedly, tossing his clothes into a pile in the corner before grabbing a clean outfit from another pile nearby. He sniffed himself experimentally, then shrugged. He didn't smell too bad, plus he was already late. Grinning at the thought of what the others would say when they saw him, he slipped on his trademark outfit, hopping a bit from one leg to the other as he pulled on his pants. Finally, with much more care, he carefully placed his head protector against his forehead, tying a simple knot in the back.

"Perfect," he proclaimed, a large grin splitting his face.

He was almost out the door when his stomach began grumbling, reminding him that he had forgotten something very important. Casting a desperate glance at the clock in his kitchen, he groaned when he saw that he was already fifteen minutes late.

_What to do... what to do..._

Shrugging, he decided to go with his instincts and make a quick cup of ramen. After all, a ninja couldn't fight on an empty stomach, right? Right!

His reservations squashed, he grabbed a cup, filling it with water, all the while hoping that Iruka-sensei wouldn't be too mad.

o o o o

"You're late, idiot!"

Ducking his head slightly, Naruto grinned in what he hoped was a disarming manner at his irate teacher.

"Sorry, sorry, but I was sooo hungry, and since I had already slept in, I figured that it wouldn't hurt if I got some ramen," he explained, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. He hoped that Iruka-sensei would understand the predicament that he had been in, but seeing his sensei slap his forehead in exasperation, he realized that perhaps he had been expecting too much.

"Whatever," Iruka grumbled, shaking his head in disgust. "Just... just go pick a seat. I was about to announce the team assignments."

Half the class laughed at this, but Naruto just smiled, relieved that he was getting off so easy. Typically, his tardiness was a source of great aggravation for his teacher, a fact that he often took out on Naruto. Not that he was abusive or even very harsh, he silently amended, but his lectures were oftentimes tedious and boring, which were two things that Naruto was not in the mood for at the moment.

He took a seat towards the back, kicking his feet up on the table in front of him. Leaning back in his chair, he listened to Iruka-sensei with half a ear, not really caring about what the older man was saying, but eager to hear what team he was on.

_It would be great if I could be on the same team as Sakura-chan,_ he thought, grinning at the the thought of his long-time crush. Looking around, he saw her, sitting next to that Uchiha guy.

As though sensing his eyes on her, she turned around, looking at him. He waved, happy that she had noticed him, but she only scowled, clenching a fist warningly. Deflated, he let his arm drop to his side again, and Sakura turned away, looking at the previous recipient of her attention: Sasuke.

Naruto frowned, irritated that he had been brushed off so casually. They were always googly-eyed over that bastard, something that he had never understood, since it wasn't like Sasuke ever did anything to deserve it. After all, Naruto was ten times the ninja that bastard was, and they never paid any attention to him! Besides, he thought viciously, from what he could tell, the guy didn't even like girls.

That bastard, always acting so cool, as if no one else mattered. What the hell did Sakura-chan see in the prick anyway? Frustrated and angry, Naruto scowled at the other boy, fighting the urge to walk over there and deck the guy. _Then we'll see who's cool. He won't look so tough when my fist is--_

_--He laughed, watching the feeble efforts of the humans as they attempted to run away. He was far too strong for them, and he applauded their intelligence in recognizing this fact, but they were fools if they thought that they would actually survive this day._

_With deliberate cruelty, he swished out of his tails out, idly smashing a building in the process. He watched as the falling building crushed several of the little rats, who were too slow and pathetic to get away in time.--**  
**_  
He hunched over in his seat, his feet making slapping sounds as they hit the ground. He sucked in air greedily, his breath coming in short gasps as reality slammed back into him. _Not again,_ he thought desperately, panicking. _Not here._ Even though he tried not to think about the dreams, or the events that they portrayed, there were times when it seemed as though the images forced themselves upon him, times when he couldn't help but relive the destructive events.

"Hey, dead last, I don't care if you are just going to sit there all day, but make sure you aren't late. I'm not going to be held back just because you decided to daydream."

He jerked, his body still shaking from the vividness of the vision he had just seen. Slowly, with maddening sluggishness, he raised his head, his eyes blinking rapidly until they finally focused, leaving him staring at an annoyed Sasuke.

The dark haired boy was standing near the door to the classroom, his bishounen features marred by a look of annoyance. Arms crossed against his chest, eyes half-hooded, he was the very image of boredom, a fact that irritated Naruto to no end. It was as though he were saying: _Talking to you is a waste of time, but I have no choice. _It was a typical attitude from the Uchiha boy, and one that never failed to get a rise out of the blond.

"Bastard," Naruto replied, the insult coming automatically to his lips. Staring at his classmate, he felt a distant pulse of anger go through him, one fueled by years of being shoved aside while the Uchiha took all the glory. However, he felt too drained and sickened by his 'vision' for the insult to hold any heat, something that seemed to surprise Sasuke as much as it did him. Shoving those thoughts to the side, he peered at the boy, wondering what the hell the guy was talking about.

Unfortunately, Sasuke was not being very forthcoming. "Whatever," he grunted, shrugging as he had lost all interest in the conversation. Straightening, he turned away, shoving open the door before walking slowly outside the classroom. Sakura, who had been standing next to him, gave Naruto an odd look before running off to catch up with her crush.

Frowning, Naruto looked around, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do. All the other genin had already left, leaving him alone with Iruka-sensei, who was busy shuffling some papers. It was obvious that he had missed his team assignment, a fact that made him want to smack his head against the nearest wall.

He eyed his teacher for a moment. Iruka-sensei would be sure to know his team assignments, but he knew that asking his teacher to repeat himself would make him look like a complete idiot to the older man, something that Naruto had resolved not to do after the incident in the forest. Frowning slightly, Naruto decided that the situation called for a little discretion.

"Hey, Iruka-sensei," Naruto began, trying to be non-chalante. "Can you tell me what team I was assigned to? I kinda wasn't paying attention."

Needless to say, Naruto's brain gave up at this point and left the poor boy to his fate.

Iruka peered at him, his concern deepening. He stared at his student, the silence becoming unbearable for Naruto, until he began squirming in his seat. "Naruto, is there something wrong?"

Naruto laughed weakly, a wretched sound that didn't sound convincing even to himself. "Of course not, Iruka-sensei. I'm great!" He tried to smile, failed, and tried again, this time managing a pathetic little grimace that he hoped was close enough.

No such luck.

Iruka frowned, walking over to the boy. "I know how much you were looking forward to this, and yet you were still late. And now you are telling me that you weren't even paying attention when I was assigning teams. Are you sure you are alright?"

Naruto was near tears at this point, something that he hoped Iruka-sensei didn't notice. Again, he felt the urge to confess, to tell his teacher about his dreams and trust in the man to do what was best.

"_Naruto isn't like that!"_

_"He isn't the demon fox anymore."_

Again, the fear stopped him. _What if he is wrong?_ His mind shrank back from the thought, from the idea that had been lurking in his mind for the past week, but that he had never dared to acknowledge. _What if I am the kyuubi?  
_  
And yet, looking into Iruka-sensei's eyes, so concerned, so trusting, he almost broke down. The words were on the tip of his tongue...

"You aren't still thinking about what I said about Mizuki, are you?" Iruka asked, peering at the boy intently. He closed his eyes wearily, putting a hand to his forehead. "I shouldn't have told you about that," he sighed. "I thought that it would make you feel better, knowing that you wouldn't have to worry about him, but I can see that it has only made you feel worse."

_That's not it at all,_ Naruto thought in protest, but Iruka continued on.

"I know that you liked Mizuki until that incident, but you have to believe me, he got what he had coming to him. He was a traitor to the village, and during interrogation, he admitted that he was planning on going missing-nin. You shouldn't feel bad for a guy like that."

Interrogation. Naruto's stomach felt queasy at the thought. Though he had never seen one, he knew enough about the process to recognize that usually it wasn't a gentle activity, often involving blood and pain, and in large quantities. While he might not have been very familiar with interrogations, he knew more than enough about both of those to immediately be wary. They had executed Mizuki for his crimes; what would they do to him?

The bastards would probably jump for joy at the chance to put him down.

"I'm fine," he said, his blue eyes imploring Iruka to believe him. "I really am. I'm just a little hungry. I'll go get some ramen and then I'll be okay.," he said, laughing shakily.

Iruka didn't look very convinced, but finally he just sighed and nodded. "Okay," he said. "You are on Team Seven with Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Sasuke. You'll be meeting your jounin instructor in classroom 215 in four hours."

"Okay, thanks Iruka-sensei," Naruto beamed, smiling gratefully. He jumped out of his chair and turned to leave, but Iruka's voice stopped him.

"Naruto, you know that if something is bothering you, you can always come to me, right?"

Feeling more in control of himself, Naruto turned his head to grin at his teacher. "Yeah, yeah. Thanks, Iruka-sensei, but like I said, I'm just a little hungry. I'll grab some ramen and then I'll be fine."

Giving a little wave, Naruto started walking out of the classroom, making sure not to run. After all, having just convinced his teacher that he was fine, he didn't want to do anything to make him suspicious.

It wasn't until he was outside the school that some of Iruka's words began to sink in.

"Wait a sec! Why am I in the same team as that bum!"

Author's Notes: Heh, that was quick, wasn't it? I had actually been halfway through chapter one when I posted the prologue. The same is currently true for chapter two, though you probably shouldn't come to expect such things. Please leave a review. I always enjoy constructive criticism, and try to use what you tell me to write a better story. Thanks.


	3. Chapter 2 v2

Disclaimer: See Prologue

o o o o

"_The three man genin teams that are employed by all ninja villages are said to have originated in a mysterious original village, from which all modern villages are said to be descended. This system of teaming together high-scoring students, low-scoring students, and kunoichi, was to serve a two-fold purpose. First, it would ensure that three **very** different individuals would be on each team, allowing them to draw upon different experiences and perspectives to achieve the best possible results. The second was that it would create feelings of loyalty to emerge within the team, which would hopefully become loyalty to the village, if only by proxy. While these goals are laudable, they did not always happen, much to the misfortune of many of the hidden villages."_

--excerpt from Chapter 2_, The Academy and the Genin Teams _ofThe World of the Shinobiby Uzumaki Naruto

o o o o

Konoha, Naruto decided, was an incredibly boring place. After his talk with Iruka-sensei, he had spent the next four hours wandering about town, being careful to avoid those villagers and ninja that he knew to be particularly hateful. Normally, he wouldn't have cared about irritating them, and would have happily spent his time flaunting his presence in a way that he knew would grate upon their nerves.

Unfortunately for the blond, after the whole Forbidden Scroll incident, Iruka-sensei had made him promise to stay out of trouble. The chuunin had told Naruto that while the boy had been cleared of all charges, there were those in the village who would still want to see the boy punished. While Naruto couldn't care less about that(he knew that he could get outfox any of the old geezers), he had been touched by the older man's concern, and had readily promised. Despite his current boredom, he decided to stick to what he had said. After all, if there was one thing you could say about Uzumaki Naruto, it was that he never broke his promises.

This left him in a bit of a predicament, however, as other than pranking, he didn't really have any other form of entertainment. He had thought, briefly, of seeking out Sakura, maybe even seeing if she wanted to go get some ramen, but he had quickly remembered that she had gone after Sasuke when she had left the classroom. So, wherever she was, Sasuke-teme was bound to be nearby. And after the way that cocky bastard had acted in the classroom, Naruto wasn't sure that he wanted to deal with the prick. Also, when he took into consideration the queasy feelings that he still had from remembering the dream, he had decided that he would rather give up ramen for a week than be around the Uchiha.

Naruto frowned at the thought of his new teammates. It was an unquestionable fact that he hated Sasuke. The guy was so arrogant, acting like everyone else was beneath his notice. This was something that Naruto could remember feeling for as long as he had known the Uchiha, and was not exactly something new to the blond prankster. However, his feelings towards Sakura were not so clear-cut, and for the first time in his life he found himself reevaluating what she meant to him. He knew that he liked the pink-haired girl, had known it for years, but until now he had never thought to question _why _he liked her.

Hoping to answer the question, he brought her image to his mind, concentrating until he could see her as clearly as though she were standing before him. He imagined her as she appeared earlier that day, a slender form, all jutting angles and hard planes, the body of a late bloomer and lacking most of the feminine curves that could be found in many of her classmates. Soft pink hair flowed gently down her form, while green eyes twinkled mischievously from a heart-shaped face.

_She **is** cute_, he reasoned, even as he recognized the inadequacy of the answer. Growing up as the local pariah, Naruto liked to pride himself on being above such shallow things as personal beauty. Such attributes were rarely an indication of a person's character, and he had often found that the more attractive a person, the crueler they could be. Besides, if he were going solely off looks, then there were better prospects out there. Like that loud girl, Ino, or that weird girl, Hinata. So that couldn't be it. That wasn't what had attracted him to her. There was something else, something deeper...

The answer was there, he knew it was. Buried someplace deep within his memories was the reason why he put up with her constant insults, her dismissive attitude. There was something about her that drew him to her, that had drawn him to her since the very beginning. What was it...?

Shrugging slightly, he decided to give up on the mystery for the time being. After all, Sakura-chan liked Sasuke-teme (though he couldn't understand why she would like someone like that). And, as much as he disliked the other boy, the thought of fighting, and possibly hurting, someone else over a girl was even more repulsive.

_Besides,_ he thought, grinning widely, _I have more important things to think about right now. _

With that thought in mind, he practically skipped down the street, eager to meet his jounin instructor.

o o o o

Two hours later, he was bored out of his mind.

The first hour hadn't been so bad. While most of the genin had left within the first twenty minutes, Iruka-sensei had had to stick around to finish his paperwork for the day. He had sat in the classroom with him, and while he had focused most of his attention on the documents he had to fill out, he had at least been willing to talk to Naruto.

Apparently, that was not a trait that his new teammates shared with the chuunin instructor, a fact that Naruto had discovered soon after his teacher had left.

While he had had a crush on her for a long time, Naruto didn't really know much about Sakura. This made conversation a bit awkward, as he didn't really know what sort of things she liked to talk about. Undaunted by this lack of knowledge, he had started regaling her with his favorite subjects, giving her a discourse on various pranks that he had played, how to best cook ramen, and had just gotten around to how great a hokage he would be when she finally snapped, telling him in no uncertain terms how annoying she found him, and how little she cared about the things he was talking about.

The three genin were currently spread out across the room, each doing their best to ignore the others. Sasuke was seated near the door, in what Naruto liked to refer to as his 'brooding position', with his fingers steepled together and his head hunched down, his expression carefully trained to reveal no expression. Sakura was nearby, leaning against one of the desks. She looked nervous, her eyes occasionally darting between her two teammates.

As for Naruto himself, he was sitting against the opposite wall, making sure not to make eye-contact with either of his teammates. While he couldn't, of course, talk to Sakura, as she had stated rather vocally what she would do to him were he to even look in her general direction, he _had_ thought about goading his other teammate.

Peering through half-slitted eyes at the dark haired boy, however, he ultimately decided against that. While normally he would think nothing of picking a fight with someone, the last time he had even thought about doing that, he had ended up being forced to relive one of those freaky dreams. Unwilling to have a repeat incident, he merely settle for leaning his head against the wall, keeping his eyes closed as he thought about the type of missions they would be sent on.

Before becoming a genin, this had been one of his favorite pastimes(along with pranking, of course). He had often spent his time talking to anyone who would listen about how he was going to be the best ninja in the village, often entertaining his audience with fanciful tales of his future exploits, one of his favorite being where Konoha was invaded by other villages, and how he alone would drive off the enemy ninja.

While such proclamations were often met with indifference or even disdain, he had never given up on his dreams, vowing that he would become the best ninja ever, a hokage to surpass all others. This drive to succeed, to prove himself to everyone that had ever doubted him, had kept him going throughout the years, allowing him to shrug or laugh off all of his failures.

Yet, recently, he had begun to question that dream, wondering if that was really what he wanted. While there was no question that still craved the approval of the village, he sometimes wondered if becoming a ninja was the best way to go about doing that. He had never before considered the act of killing, of having to fight and kill his opponents. Or, if he had, he had never taken into consideration the implications of such actions, the fact that his opponents would be people with friends and families, with people who would be waiting for them, who would be hoping that they would be safe.

In the lonely silence of that classroom, it was the_ only _thing he could think about.

His reverie was broken by the sound of the classroom door opening. Naruto's head swiveled to take in the newcomer, and out of the corner of his eye, he could see Sakura and Sasuke do the same.

The same thought went through all three of their minds.

_This bum is our instructor?_

o o o o

Naruto eyed the man before him with marked skepticism, his brain not quite accepting the idea that such a disreputable looking guy could possibly be his new instructor. He had always thought of a jounin as being somehow more intimidating, the type of person who just radiated authority and power. This guy... this guy looked like he had just finished begging on the streets.

The older man had walked casually into the classroom, not seeming to notice the incredulous looks the three genin had given him. _Not that he **could** have noticed,_ Naruto silently amended. After all, that would have involved looking up from that stupid book.

Their instructor (at least, Naruto assumed he was their instructor) hadn't bothered to apologize for being late. Instead, his face still buried in his book, he had made a vague gesture with his hand, indicating that they were to follow him. Not bothering to see if they would comply, he had then started walking away, leaving the three genin to scramble to catch up. The silver-haired man had led them up to the roof of the academy, which was where they were now situated, waiting for the guy to tell them why they had had to relocate.

Gesturing for them to sit down, the jounin took his own advice, seating himself on a ledge of the building. "Okay," he said, idly flipping a page. "Let's begin with some introductions."

"What do you want to know?" Sakura asked, exchanging puzzled looks with Naruto.

"How about... likes, dislikes, dreams for the future, hobbies, things like that," Kakashi gestured vaguely, keeping his other hand firmly on his reading material.

"Hey!" Naruto protested. Months of having Iruka-sensei harp on him about proper manners allowed him to immediately recognize the fact that what his new teacher had done was a big no-no. The fact that Naruto himself typically didn't follow most rules on manners was carefully ignored. "Why don't you introduce yourself to us first before!"

"Yeah," Sakura added. "You look kinda suspicious..."

Kakashi seemed taken aback by their accusations, taking a moment to scratch his head before answering. "Me? My name is Hatake Kakashi. I have no desire to tell you guys about my likes and dislikes. Dreams for the future..." he trailed off. "Well, I have lots of hobbies." Apparently satisfied with his answers, he went back to reading his book.

Naruto and Sakura looked at each other again, each wondering what to make of the introduction. Though Sasuke's expression didn't change, the fact that the boy didn't immediately reply made Naruto think that he felt the same way.

_Then again,_ Naruto reflected,_ it could be that he's trying to play it cool, and doesn't want to be the first to volunteer. _ He scowled at the thought. _ That would be just like him... arrogant bastard..._

"How about you go first," Kakashi suggested, pointing at Sasuke. Naruto found himself grudgingly impressed that the jounin seemed to know exactly where the dark haired boy was seated, despite the fact that he hadn't looked at them once since meeting them.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke," the boy began. "There are tons of things I don't like, but I don't really like anything."

_And no one likes you, _Naruto sniped mentally, though he was careful not to say that aloud, not with Sakura around. Usually when he said bad things about the dark-haired boy, the pink-haired girl got violent.

"I wouldn't call it a dream," Sasuke continued, unaware of the altercation that had been barely avoided, "but I have an ambition. The resurrection of my clan and to kill a certain man."

The four of them fell into silence after that. Having said all that he wanted to, Sasuke went back to ignoring his teammates, instead focusing his eyes on the jounin seated across from him.

Who blinked, looking up from his book for the first time. "Done already?" he asked, his tone making it clear that the question was rhetorical. When Sasuke didn't say anything, Kakashi shrugged, gesturing for Sakura to go next.

"I'm Haruno Sakura," she said, smiling slightly. "The thing I like is..." she trailed off, giggling slightly. "Well, rather, the person I like is..." she sent Sasuke a bashful look, which he ignored, before giggling again, covering her face with her hands in an unsuccessful attempt to hide her blush.

"Um... should I talk about my dreams for the future?" she asked, grinning bashfully.

Kakashi nodded, though he looked a bit bemused, something that Naruto could relate to.

"Oh my!" she squealed, lost in some private fantasy.

_You don't even care that he's a bastard,_ Naruto thought in irritation.

Sakura took a moment to compose herself, the blush gradually leaving her face. The three males watched her with various levels of annoyance.

Coming back to herself, she hardened her gaze. "The things I dislike are Naruto and Ino-pig," she said, looking directly at the blond.

Naruto slumped in resignation. _Man, that's three times in one day. This girl is really mean..._

Kakashi grunted, though he didn't look away from his book. "And finally, the shrimp."

Naruto fumed at the insult, but decided to let it go. After all, once he informed them of how great he was, they'd all be sorry that they had ever disrespected him. "I like--"

_--that natural high that came from crushing his opponents. Nothing else could quite compare with the rush that always followed. He was an unstoppable force of nature, leveling everything in his path--_

"I like ramen," he finished hastily, taking a deep breath to calm himself. He looked at his new teammates, scowling at what he saw. Sasuke had a condescending smirk on his face, as though he was looking at some clown that was acting for his amusement. Kakashi still had his face buried in that disgusting book of his, and didn't seem to have heard a word that Naruto had said. As for Sakura, her face had that weird expression she had worn in the classroom earlier that day, an odd mix of concern and exasperation.

Feeling embarrassed and irritated, he turned his back on them all, choosing instead to stare out at the village.

It was a sight that had always served to calm him, to make him feel better about himself. It was one of the reasons why, despite his most recent prank, he had always loved going to the Hokage Monument. Whenever the loneliness that had been his constant companion threatened to consume him, or when he had felt bitter about the villagers' seemingly unreasoning hatred, he had always gone there, spending hours just staring out at the beautiful scene that was now before him. It worked to calm him now, and he relaxed, allowing the serenity of the village to wash away his fears and anger.

"I don't like blood," he admitted, more to himself than anyone else. Grinning at a sudden impulse, he spun around, swinging his arm up until it was pointed at Sasuke. "But what I really hate," he announced, "are people who underestimate me. I'm going to be Hokage someday, so you better watch out!"

The two genin stood there in silence for a moment, their eyes glaring at each other challengingly. Finally, Sasuke grunted, closing his eyes and turning away, his arms folded across his chest.

"What kind of idiot is afraid of blood?" he sneered.

"Shut up!" Naruto shouted, his face going red in his embarrassment. "I didn't say that. I'm not afraid of blood! I just don't like it! That's all!"

Suddenly Sakura was in front of him, her face inches from his own as she glared at him. "Hey, don't yell at Sasuke-kun," she snapped. "Besides, he's right. Why in the hell would you want to be a ninja if you are afraid of blood?"

She brought her fist up, and Naruto cringed, knowing that he was going to be on the receiving end of a severe beating.

"This is what I have to work with," Kakashi grumbled, finally tearing his eyes away from his book. "A sulker--" --Sasuke grunted irritably-- "--a sissy--" --"Hey," Naruto yelled-- "--and a fangirl." --Sakura shook her fist angrily at him, her altercation with Naruto momentarily forgotten-- "It looks like I have my work cut out for me."

Gently placing the book into a hidden pocket in his vest, he regarded them all with a bored expression. Finally, the jounin sighed, shaking his head in exasperation.

All three genin bristled at the implied insult, but before any of them could say anything, he continued.

"We'll start our duties tomorrow," he told them, his hand wandering back to his jacket pocket, then stopping, as though he were fighting the temptation to start reading again.

"Yes!" Naruto leapt up, practically bouncing on his feet. Despite his earlier reservations, the boy was happy to finally be able to do missions. "What kind of duties?" he asked, almost giddy with excitement. _Maybe we'll have to guard a shipment of ramen,_ he thought. _Or maybe protect a princess..._

The jounin shook his head at the display. Beneath his mask, he was smiling as he watched his students' faces, waiting for the inevitable explosion. "First, we are going to do something with just the four of us," he told them.

"What's that?" Naruto sat back down, an uneasy feeling building up in his stomach. He didn't like the look that their instructor was giving them. There was boredom there, but that was nothing new. The thing that was unnerving him was not something that was immediately apparent, noticeable only in a twinkling of the man's eye, or a slight upturn of his lips. Hidden beneath that carefully neutral expression was an eagerness, like a fox who was closing in on the rabbit. Naruto knew that expression, had experienced it far too many times in his dreams, and he knew that whatever it signified, he wasn't going to like it.

"Survival training."

The three genin blinked, their confusion obvious.

"That isn't too bad," Naruto commented cautiously, still feeling uneasy.

His state of mind wasn't helped when Kakashi began laughing.

o o o o

Author's Notes: Finals are over at last. Yay! Sorry this took so long. I had it done for a while, but spent a long time revising it. I am still not satisfied with it, and might do some changes later on. Chapter 3 is nearly done, but I will be spending some time revising that as well.


	4. Chapter 3 v2

Disclaimer: See prologue.

o o o

"_The first lessons that every ninja learns is how to become a successful weapon. Among ninja, there is no place for mercy, fear, hate, or any of the other myriad emotions that are typically found in normal human beings. Such feelings could lead to hesitation, recklessness, or outright rebellion, and thus must be expunged from a ninja before he can be of use to his or her village_."

--excerpt from Chapter 1, _A Ninja Society_ of The World of the Shinobi by Uzumaki Naruto

o o o

"Start!"

Naruto didn't have to look behind him to know that his teammates had vanished. After all, that was what a good ninja was supposed to do. While able to hold their own in straight-up confrontations, a ninja's true strength lay in deception, in the art of striking decisively and then vanishing like smoke. He knew, from his own schooling and from his dreams, that they would be waiting, hidden nearby, for the jounin to to relax his guard to the point that they could capitulate on his mistake and defeat him.

He knew that he should have done the same. He knew that standing here, in the open, was a foolish decision that would most likely cost him dearly. And yet... the gall of this man, to stand there without a care, slouching arrogantly... There was a part of him, a secret, furious part of him that wanted to punish him for his impudence.

"I think you are missing the point of this exercise," Kakashi complained. "Your other two teammates seem to get it, so why don't you just follow their example?" When Naruto continued to stand there, staring at him hatefully, he sighed, silently lamenting the idiocy of today's youth.

Torn with indecision, Naruto found himself unable to move. He found himself rooted to the spot as surely as though he were under a genjutsu, a thought that caused him a second of panic, before being cast aside. Glaring balefully at his instructor, he sifted through his options, trying to find out that appeased both his underdeveloped sense of self-preservation, and his growing bloodlust. To retreat would be the smart thing to do, the most tactically sound of his options, but it would be also admitting that this bastard was better than him, that in a head-on conflict, he was overmatched. And after standing here for so long, it would also be a show of cowardice, one that all of the villagers would hear about and laugh at, shaking their heads at the thought of the 'demon fox' running away from a conflict. If he ran, then there would be no way that anyone would ever respect him. He would be the eternal dead-last, the laughingstock of Konoha.

So he had no choice after all. He had to attack, to fight and win against this opponent just as he had won against Mizuki. This man was nothing more than another obstacle, another person who was convinced that he was just some second-rate idiot who didn't deserve the hitate that he wore.

And yet...

"_You won't succeed unless you come at me intending to kill..."_

_A ninja has no mercy,_ Naruto reminded himself. _A ninja can kill without thought..._

_--Men were screaming and dying everywhere he looked, the ground slick with their blood. Two hundred strong had come against him, and two hundred strong were now dying at his feet._

_What audacity. What foolishness. To think that mere mortals could challenge the most powerful of the Tailed Beasts. It did not matter how many of the little rats came against him, he would destroy them all. That was his duty, his calling, his very purpose, to reign supreme over all other life... and anyone who challenged him would be left as nothing more than a corpse in his wake--_

Naruto gritted his teeth against the memory, forcing the thoughts away.

"What's wrong?" Kakashi asked, giving the boy a quizzical look. "Are you just going to stand there staring at me, or are you going to do something?"

_A ninja can kill without mercy_, Naruto repeated to himself, focusing on that smug face in front of him. _If I can't fight this bastard, then what's the point of even being a ninja? _

_There is no point,_ he told himself. _Being a ninja, becoming the hokage, how else can I show it to them, how else can I prove that I'm not a monster, that I'm important? I have to do this!_

He forced the doubt and fear away, burying them both under the bitterness and anger that had been his constant companions over the years, born and nurtured under the villagers' oppressive hatred. Closing his eyes, he felt the all too familiar rage, that burning hatred that never quite went away, feeling the bloodlust singing in his veins as he snapped his eyes back open and stared at the man before him. His vision blurred and twisted, Kakashi becoming Sasuke with his cold sneer, Sakura with her annoyed grimace... a thousand different faces, a thousand different expressions, but all of them screaming one thing: _you are worthless._

_I'm fighting to prove that I am important,_ he snarled to that part of him that still doubted, knowing it was the truth, but wishing it was the only reason.

_It doesn't matter, _he thought angrily. _I have to do this._

Whipping out a kunai, he charged.

o o o o

Sasuke had watched the confrontation with cold, analytical eyes, sneering to himself as he saw the blond's obvious indecision. Not only was his teammate a moron, but he also seemed to be a coward as well. From where he was hidden, he could see the boy practically shaking in his fear. _That idiot is nothing but a liability, _he thought, thankful that, even if it was an otherwise tremendous waste of time, at least Kakashi's little test had shown him that much.

_Not that Haruno is much better,_ he thought bitterly, cursing whatever fate had decided to place him on the same team as the class dead-last and the pink-haired fangirl. No matter which one was sent back, he would still be left with a teammate that was nothing more than a hindrance.

His sneer twisted into a scowl at the thought. After years of wasting his time in the academy, he had finally received the opportunity that he had longed for, and this was how it turned out. Given a joke of an instructor, teamed up with the worst possible teammates, he might as well have stayed at the academy.

It had been pathetically easy to become the top of his class. At first, he had eagerly focused on every lesson, sifting through the lectures and practices to try and find something that had eluded him, some great secret that would give him the power that he sought. However, it quickly became apparent that there was no such miracle lesson, or, if there was, then the academy didn't have it. While he yearned for the strength he knew he would need to kill Itachi, he somehow knew that he would not find it amongst the second-rate students that were his classmates. And now, the final insult: being placed on the same team as the dead-last of his class.

The Uchiha prodigy had nothing but contempt for his teammate, having watched the boy clown around throughout their shared schooling years. The kid was undisciplined, unmotivated, and a complete idiot, three things that would have never been tolerated among his clan.

The thought of his long-dead family brought a fresh lance of pain through Sasuke's heart, an agonizing reminder of those events that had occurred so long ago. He relished the feeling, holding tightly to the pain as it purified his soul. Whenever he felt lost, whenever he felt helpless, he had but to think of his father and mother lying on that bloody floor, and he found direction again.

While he would never thank his brother for what he had done to him all those years ago, he recognized that he was stronger now that he had ever been before. The grief and the rage that he felt over those events gave him a focus, a purpose that was his and his alone. It drove him to become even more powerful, a fact that he would be sure to show Itachi the next time he saw him.

Snapping out of his daydream, he focused back on the fight, watching the jounin and waiting for the right moment to strike.

o o o o

Naruto felt his mouth twist into a vicious snarl as he slashed wildly at the laconic jounin, his every muscle burning with the need to rip that look of boredom off of his instructor's face. The man's apathetic attitude infuriated the blond, and he longed to see that look twist into fear, hesitation, anything that showed that that Kakashi was taking the fight seriously.

Yet there was a part of him that was enjoying the fight, one-sided though it was. There was a certain euphoria that the genin had come to realize could only be found on the battlefield, where life and death could lurked behind every decision, and even the slightest mistake could cost him everything. Only during times like this, when he held nothing back, could he he truly feel alive.

It was not a new concept to the boy. He had felt the same rush before, during the fight with Mizuki. Then it had been like lost himself, casting aside his doubts and fears and longings to become something different, something... powerful. The feeling had been intoxicating, a current of fury and excitement that had pulled him forward, to enter a world of ecstasy in which he knew only the glory of combat. It had only been when he stood before Mizuki's broken body that he had come back to himself, and had recognized what he had done.

Unfortunately for Naruto, the opponent he now faced was not the treacherous instructor, a fact that was reinforced when the man easily side-stepped Naruto's latest assault, knocking the genin off balance with a lazy slap to the boy's back.

Naruto spat out a curse as he felt himself stumbling, arms swinging wildly as he fought to catch his balance. Tripping over an exposed root, the boy fell, his arms automatically shooting out to brace his body. He grit his teeth as pain shot out from where his right fist had struck the ground, the entire hand stinging from where he had refused to drop his kunai.

From near his ear, a voice laughed at him. "A ninja isn't supposed to be caught from behind, idiot."

Mentally screaming at himself for his stupidity, Naruto started to spin around, his kunai slashing in a wide sweep, but it was already too late. He felt something slam into his backside, a blinding pain beyond anything he had ever experienced before. His eyes snapped shut as his brain tried to process his agony, and as a result he didn't even realize that his feet had left the ground until he was already several feet in the air.

His entire backside in agony, as the magnitude of his defeat and the ease at with it had been accomplished washed over him, Naruto could only scream in rage as he sailed towards the horizon.

o o o o

Sakura groaned inwardly as she watched her sensei dispatch Naruto.

She had recognized that the outcome had been determined from the very beginning, though she couldn't understand why Naruto had even _thought_ that he could defeat a jounin in a head-on confrontation. Then again, she had long ago stopped trying to understand the reasoning behind most of the blond prankster's actions.

_That Naruto is such an idiot,_ she thought scornfully. _Not like Sasuke-kun._

The thought of the raven-haired Uchiha prodigy warmed her heart, and, despite her best efforts, she found herself blushing at the thought of him.

While she recognized that she was hardly the only person to have a crush on the boy, she knew that she had an insight into Sasuke that no one else had. She wasn't like the others, who only saw a pretty face and a cute butt. Unlike his little fan club, she could see beneath his looks to the type of person he really was.

She had been a child when the Uchiha Tragedy had occurred. She had already liked Sasuke, even then, and had worried over what might have happened to him. Yet, two weeks later, he had shown up for class, as though nothing had happened. Sure, he was quieter, and he might have been a little more withdrawn, but the fact that he continued to go on despite what had happened, that was what had ultimately won her over.

Blinking, the girl realized that while she had been reminiscing, Kakashi-sensei had left. Casting a quick look around her, she noticed that there was no sign of Naruto or Sasuke either. Cursing her inattentiveness, she scanned the area, looking for anything that would indicate what direction the others had gone.

Seeing none, she bit her lower lip, before finally deciding on a random direction.

As she ran, careful to keep a close eye on her surroundings this time, her mind slipped to think of her other teammate, the loud obnoxious blond that had trailed her like an overly affectionate puppy for years.

She had never been entirely comfortable with his feelings towards her, eying them with a suspicion borne of years of being a target for pranks and taunts from the more popular and, though it galled her to admit it, more attractive classmates. Yet, despite her best efforts to persuade him against it, he had persisted, and, unwillingly, she found herself coming to view the boy as another permanent fixture in her life, like Ino's antagonistic rivalry or Sasuke's distant perfection. It was strange, but, on a certain level, Naruto's immature attempts at romance did make her feel better about an existence that she had begun to tire of.

Yet, she had never seriously considered returning the boy's affections. Naruto was too... Naruto. He was wild, inconsiderate, chaotic, all those things that she hated in life. He had none of the consistency and dedication that she so admired in Sasuke, a fact made obvious in his dismal grades and attendance at the academy, instead bounding from prank to prank as quickly as his short attention span demanded. She knew that his crush on her was just another fixation, another way of passing the time until something else caught his interest.

Besides, in a contest between Sasuke and Naruto, the blond prankster didn't even measure. He lacked the dark-haired boy's dedication, his intellect, his--

**_His cute butt!_** Inner-Sakura piped in.

--and as little as such things mattered to her, he lacked Sasuke's devastatingly good looks.

Sakura stopped suddenly, her breath hitching as she spotted a flash of silver amongst the green leaves. There, standing not thirty feet in front of her, was her jounin-instructor, his back turned to her as he perused that filthy book of his.

_But where is Sasuke?_ she wondered, knowing that the Uchiha would not have abandoned such a tempting target.

A sudden rustling near her caught her attention, and she held her breath, her body going rigid with tension. Trying to keep her motions inconspicuous, she slowly relaxed her right arm, her hand twitching slightly as it eased to her thigh, where she had attached a shuriken holster.

"Sakura... help me..."

With a sick feeling of dread spreading throughout her body, she turned.

o o o o

His lungs burning with exertion, Naruto still forced himself forward, praying that he wasn't too late. He had been eying the lunches Kakashi had prepared for them, contemplating whether or not to eat one when he had heard Sakura scream. His concern over his teammate and longtime crush quickly overcoming the growling in his stomach, he had immediately began running towards the source of the scream, afraid of what might have occurred.

_That bastard's gone too far,_ he raged, hating the jounin even more. His mind churning with scenarios of what might had happened to his pink-haired teammate, each worse than the last, he pushed all of his energy into his legs, finally seeing a clearing ahead. With a final desperate burst of speed, he leapt forward.

And stepped into a scene out of a nightmare.

The first thing that he noticed, oddly enough, was the way Sakura's hair fluttered in the wind. It flowed around the young genin like a personal banner, caressing every angle and curve like the hands of a lover.

Except, it wasn't her body. At least, not the body that he remembered.

She lay slumped against a tree, her head down as though she had decided to take a nap. So overwhelming was his relief at finding her, at first he thought that this was the case, and he laughed, overwhelmed with gratitude that she had not been hurt.

"Hey, Sakura," he started, his irritation gaining voice. "What's the big idea--" His voice trailed off as little things that had gone unnoticed in his excitement suddenly screamed out at him.

The girl lay like a broken doll, her head hanging low as though it were barely attached to her body. Kunai had punctured both shoulders, attaching her to the tree like a moth in a display. Her face was ruined, a deep gash slicing from her left eyebrow down to her neck, gore seeping through the open wound.

Sakura weakly lifted her head to look up at him, staring as if noticing him for the first time. Her mouth moved in what he assumed were words, but all she could manage were wet gurgles..Her eyes, though... They communicated far more. They were pleading, full of terror and agony and begging him to do something to make it all stop.

Naruto choked back a scream as it tried to escape his throat. The blood was pounding in his head, a vicious throbbing as his body reacted to the bloody scene before him. He tore his gaze away from his dying teammate, only to find himself confronted with another horrifying vision.

Laying towards the edge of the clearing, his body curled as though he had been kicked aside, was Sasuke. The proud Uchiha seemed to be in incredible pain, low gasps escaping his body every few seconds. His left arm was extended outwards, the fingers splayed outwards from a ruined hand, while His right hand clutched at his stomach, gripping the cloth of his shirt as though he was trying to keep his organs from seeping out of the jagged gash in his stomach. Worst of all was his face. His mouth was open in a agonized scream while his eyes were locked on Naruto with wild, unthinking fear.

And the blood...

The crimson liquid was splattered across the clearing like a young child's painting. It coursed down the tree Sakura was impaled against to gather in gory puddles at her feet. It trailed behind Sasuke's body to smear across rocks and leaves, a testament to the boy's dying efforts to flee.

"Naruto," Sakura gasped, her breath gurgling thickly from a ruined throat. "Please... help me..."

Naruto slumped to the ground, his legs suddenly lacking the strength to support him. He clawed at his eyes, sobbing now as he tried to make the images stop. _Dear gods,_ he pleaded, _please... no more! Let this all be a dream. Please, just make it stop!_

Even as his body and mind reacted with disgust, he could feel something within him crow with dark satisfaction at his teammates' fate. He could feel that part of him exulting in the scene before him, taking grim satisfaction in the fact that the ones who had despised him were laid low, made to suffer for their unthinking cruelty.

**_Isn't this what you wanted?_** A cold, cruel voice asked, curling like oil inside of his head, soaking into his brain until he could no longer hear the cries of his dying teammates. **_They acknowledge you now. They recognize how weak they are compared to you. Rejoice in their recognition, and revel in the fact that in dying, they have shown how much weaker they are than you._**

It was too much. It was all too much. He couldn't take any more. His eyes rolling up in their sockets, Naruto collapsed into a dead faint.

o o o

Author's Notes: Forgot to include this, but thanks to Naitachal666 for looking over this chapter for me. I appreciate it. Also, apologies to everyone who was waiting for this, as I had the first draft done for a while, but it was just sitting on my hard drive while I went through some personal problems. Sorry about the wait.

Also added in this version is the quote at the beginning.


	5. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: See Prologue.

o o o o

"_Pain is one way, perhaps the only way, of determining if you are still alive."_

--Uchiha Sasuke

o o o o

It was not a gentle awakening.

Naruto's head jerked backwards, slamming against a rough surface so hard that his eyes began to water. There was a sharp pain in his mouth, a bitter, coppery liquid flowing from where he had bit his tongue. Dazed by the blow, he blinked rapidly, peering around at the blurry world about him in confusion.

_I'm alive,_ he thought, confused by the realization.

He tried to move his arms, but realized that they were restrained, tied by what felt like rope to whatever he had his back against. It was an uncomfortable feeling, a series of pains and chafing throughout his body, but it was one he relished because he was alive to feel it.

"About time you're wake," a voice told him crossly. "Kakashi-sensei had to drag you over here when you wouldn't wake up."

He peered at the speaker, a swath of pink and red that swam in his vision. He kept his eyes on the blur, and eventually, his sight cleared to the point that he could see _her_, angry, afraid, embarrassed--

But alive.

He stared at her, wondering if this was a dream, fearing that it was, yet unable to tear his eyes away.

Sakura noticed his look, blushing as he refused to look away, her hands going to her hips in a stance that Naruto knew meant she was angry, but at the moment he didn't care.

"Sakura," he breathed, whispering his desperate hope. "You're alive..."

He thought that her expression softened at that, a look of reluctant understanding and sympathy entering her eyes.

"You got hit by a genjutsu," she explained, her mouth quirking in a rueful smile. "I did too." Her gaze flickered over to his left, but Naruto didn't follow her gaze, afraid that if he did, she would be gone when he looked back.

"Well, now that Naruto's done with his little nap," drawled a new voice, "let's talk about the training."

Naruto forced himself to look away from his pink-haired teammate, somehow knowing that what was about to be said would be important to him. _Training,_ he thought in bewilderment. _That's right. This was all training. We're doing survival training to become genin. And if what I saw was just an illusion, then that would mean that it was Kakashi that..._

He looked directly ahead of him, to a figure that he was beginning to loathe. His jounin instructor peered at them through a half-closed eye, his entire demeanor reeking of bored laziness. Noticing his look, Kakashi waved at him, his single visible eye twinkling merrily.

Naruto nearly bit through his lip as he suppressed his urge to scream. Despite his best efforts, a strangled growl escaped his lips, a furious rage rising up within him.

_You knew!_ he wanted to scream. _I told you and you still made me see that! _

"Stop acting like an idiot, deadlast," snapped a voice to his left.

The voice derailed his increasingly violent train of thought. His head snapping wildly, he saw his final teammate, the raven-haired Uchiha, sitting to his left, idly pulling pieces of grass then tossing them back onto the ground.

"To put it bluntly," Kakashi piped up cheerfully, ignoring the growing tension amongst his students, "there is no need for you three to go back to the academy."

Naruto watched as Sakura danced about happily, a broad grin on her face. Even Sasuke looked up at this, a slight smirk appearing on his face.

The boy knew that he should be just as excited as his teammates appeared to be, but at the moment, he couldn't bring himself to care. Any joy he might have felt at the announcement was killed still-borne, quenched before they even began by the resentment and anger that were building up within him.

"That's right," his sensei continued, "all three of you should quit as ninja."

Ignoring his teammates' shocked reactions, Naruto turned his face to glare at his instructor. "Why?" the blond whispered, hating himself for asking, but needing to know the answer. "Why did you do it?"

"Huh?" All three of his teammates turned at his voice, shocked by the anger it contained.

Naruto was furious. "Why did you do it? You knew-- I told you! I told you and you used that against me! Yo-you bastard!" he screamed.

Kakashi stared at him for a moment, the cheerful grin gone from his features. In its place, Naruto could see a cold glint, as though the man were peeling back flesh and blood to stare at his very soul. Despite his rage, the blond felt a shiver creep down his spine at that look.

"You three don't have a clue about what it means to be ninja," he said finally, his voice full of scorn. "This isn't a game that you are playing. During a mission, you might come across someone who has gathered information about you. Your likes, dislikes, fears, these are all things that might be known. In order to survive as ninja, you have to be able to overcome anything that might be used against you."

He closed his eye for a moment, grimacing as though reliving some painful memory. His three students stared at him in astonishment, shocked at this serious side to their sensei. The moment disappeared in the next instant, when he opened his eye, blinking as though surprised his students were still there.

"Even if you are confronted by your worst fears, you have to be able to keep going forward and fulfill your mission." He glanced at Naruto, and the boy shifted uneasily under his sharp gaze. "There is a very simple reason why you failed, but it seems that reasoning that out is beyond your abilities."

He stood there for a moment, eying his students sternly. Naruto felt his face flush at the casual disregard he was being given, and he noticed that Sakura was fuming as well. Sasuke, however, was staring at their instructor with an odd look on his face, an expectant, scrutinizing look. For some reason, Naruto felt strangely disturbed by his teammates expression, and he nearly missed Kakashi's next words.

"Teamwork," the jounin said simply.

_Teamwork?_ Naruto repeated mentally. _What the hell is he talking about now?_

"What do you mean by teamwork? There were only two bells!"

Naruto blinked, wondering if he had said that aloud, but then realized that the voice had been too high pitched to be his. Turning his head, he saw that Sakura had jumped to her feet, arms gesturing wildly as if to prove her point.

"Even if we worked together to get the bells, there are only two of them!" the girl exclaimed. "This test just makes us fight each other!"

"Of course!" Kakashi replied, his voice scornful. "The test is set up to make you fight amongst yourselves. The _point _is to see if you can forget your own petty concerns and work together despite this." He shook his head in disgust, before looking back at them.

"Sakura," he snapped, glaring at the girl, "Instead of helping your teammates, you allowed both of them to fight on their own. You allowed your dislike of Naruto to keep you from helping him, and were too afraid of what Sasuke would think to help him in his fight."

The girl looked stricken, but didn't reply. Kakashi continued staring at her a moment, before turning to look at Naruto. The boy met his gaze defiantly, knowing what was coming but still too angry to admit that he had been wrong.

"Naruto, you allowed your emotions to control you. Iinstead of waiting and helping your teammates, you let yourself get emotional and attacked me without thinking. You let your pride and anger control you, and you were defeated easily. Then, when you saw my genjutsu, you passed out at the sight of blood."

_Why do they all think I'm afraid of blood?_ Naruto thought, glaring at his instructor bitterly. _I'm not afraid of it. I just don't like the fact that--_

_**You love watching as the blood flows.**_

_--that it makes me feel weird whenever I see it, _Naruto amended hastily. The idea that he might actually like seeing people bleed was a creepy one, and he wondered where that thought had come from.

"Sasuke," Kakashi continued, oblivious to his student's inner conflict, "you assumed that the others would just get in your way and tried to do everything yourself.

"Teamwork is more than just worrying about your own petty concerns," Kakashi stated, turning his back on them. "On a mission, your ability to succeed is determined by your ability to put aside your own petty concerns and fears and work with others towards a common goal. Whether you like each other or not, you still need each other in order to survive. When you understand that, you will understand what it means to be ninja."

Keeping his back to them, he walked forwards until he was standing before a small rectangular stone tablet. Gently, almost lovingly, he placed a hand on the top of it, his head bowed as though in thought. "The names on this tablet, these are people who understood this lesson. They are the people that were willing to put aside their own concerns, and were willing to sacrifice themselves for the good of the village. My best friend is listed among them."

He fell silent for a moment, lost in memories. His students watched him in awkward silence, feeling as though they were eavesdropping on a private moment. Abruptly, the man shoved his hands in his pockets, turning back to stare at them. "I'll give you guys one more chance," he announced. "Further testing will take place after lunch, but I'll make it much harder. If you are going to participate, then you can have one of the lunches. However, anyone who gives Naruto a lunch will automatically fail. That's the penalty for falling asleep during a mission."

Naruto grit his teeth at this, but said nothing. It wasn't as though his teammates would have given him some anyways.

Having said his piece, the jounin disappeared in a rush of falling leaves, leaving the three genin to stare uncomfortably at the space he had just vacated.

"I don't need any food," Naruto finally said, breaking the silence. He kept his gaze away from his two teammates, staring sullenly ahead at the memorial tablet. He was angry, angrier than he had been since the fight with Mizuki, and more than anything else, he did not want Sasuke or Sakura reminding him of the fact that they would rather let him starve than feed him.

"Don't be so stupid," Sakura snapped. "I can hear your stomach grumbling from here."

Naruto blushed in embarrassment, realizing that what she was saying was true. As Kakashi had ordered, the boy had skipped breakfast, coming straight to the training center only a few minutes after waking up. The end result was that he was famished, and not feeling particularly upbeat after the training that they had just gone through.

_Sadistic bastard must have planned it that way,_ the boy realized.

"So what? It doesn't matter. I'll go without," he announced, silently cursing his traitorous stomach as it let out another growl. "I'm not going to pass out just because I skipped a meal!"

_Though I might since I skipped two,_ he thought glumly, though he refused to let them know that.

"Quit being so macho," Sakura admonished. She looked over at her other teammate, but Sasuke was studiously avoiding her look, instead focusing all of his attention on his lunch. The girl frowned, continued staring at him for a moment, before seeming to come to a decision.

"Here," she shouted, shoving her bento in front of Naruto. "If you pass out because you are too hungry, then we're all going to be sent back. I don't want to go back to the Academy, and I don't want Sasuke-kun to fail, so.. just take it," she ordered, ducking her head down to hide her embarrassment.

Naruto stared at her as though seeing her for the first time. It was the first remotely kind gesture that he had received from any of the children his own age, or from anyone besides the Third and Iruka-sensei, for that matter, and there was a part of him that, against his will, was responding to that.

"Sakura-chan," he said, softly, finding himself smiling at her.

She looked up at his strange tone, blushing bright red at the look he was giving her. "Don't get me wrong," she warned angrily, her embarrassment forcing her to speak. "It's not like I care what happens to you, but I just don't want us to fail. That's all it is, so you can get that stupid look off your face."

Naruto felt his anger return at her words. His eyes narrowing in disbelief and irritation, he stared at her in amazement. _She's only doing this because_ _she wants Sasuke-teme to pass? _He opened his mouth to say something, though he wasn't sure what, when what sounded like a small explosion cut him off.

The roar of a sudden wind snarled around the genin, knocking his two teammates onto the ground. Looking up, Naruto was forced to shut his eyes as leaves and dirt, thrown up by the displaced air, slammed into his face. Despite his precautions, he could feel dust and grit fly into his mouth, and he began coughing violently, his chest heaving as he tried to spit it all out.

Blinking back tears from the thrown dirt, he balked at the scene before him. Kakashi was standing only a foot away from him, his face jutting forward with a furious rage. "You guys..." he growled out dangerously.

Naruto took a moment to curse whatever gods were laughing at him. _It wasn't even me this time, and I'm still going to be sent back, _he thought bitterly, wishing that Sakura had just kept to herself.

"Pass!"

o o o o

Naruto kept his head down as he flexed his arms, enjoying the tiny pinpricks of pain that shot through them as the bloodflow began to increase throughout his body. He clenched his fist, then unclenched it, tightening his fingers until they began to throb, then releasing. It hurt, sending painful little tingling sensations up and down his arms, but at least it allowed him mind to focus on something other than the great sense of painful indignation and hurt that was welling up inside of him.

He glanced up, through his bangs, his ears perking at the sound of feminine laughter. Ahead of him, not twenty feet distant, were his teammates, those three bastards that he had the misfortune to be teamed up with. He could taste acid in his throat at the thought, and he turned away, biting down on his lower lip to keep from yelling at them like he wanted to.

Only once before had he felt this way, this odd mixture of pain and sorrow and bitterness that welled up within him, that made him want to cry and scream and die all at the same time.

"Mizuki," he whispered, silently cursing the man.

That underhanded bastard had befriended him, acting the part of friend and confidante. Manipulating Naruto's loneliness, the traitor had shown him kindness and compassion, acting the part of a concerned teacher and showing the boy a way to get the recognition he so craved...

But it had all been a lie. Mizuki had only been using him, working with him to get the scroll, then abandoning him as soon as it became expedient to.

_**Just like her.**_

The words shoved themselves into his brain, a snarling half-growl that seemed to echo within his brain, drowning out everything else until they were all that he could feel, all that he could think. Half-unwilling, he stared at his female teammate, watching her as she shyly spoke to an unresponsive Sasuke, her entire body drawn inwards on itself, as though the slightest rebuke from Uchiha would crush her.

_Always Sasuke,_ Naruto thought wearily, the anguish bleeding out of him, leaving him feeling only a cold numbness that seemed to soak into his entire body.

He had been so ecstatic when she had shared her food with him, shoving her bento in front of his face even over his objections. Another person had finally accepted him, someone besides Iruka-sensei looking at him and seeing someone who was of worth. It had made him so happy, and to know that it was Sakura, the girl that he liked, who saw that, he could barely contain his joy.

But, once again, he had just been deluding himself. Just like with Mizuki, he had pretended that Sakura had cared about him, thinking that her actions signified something deeper than anything she had ever truly felt. In a way, Sakura had been using him just as surely as Mizuki had. Neither of them really cared about him, and, in the end, he was just another tool to be used and thrown away.

He remembered once wondering what it was that drew him to Sakura, that had made him like her when he knew so little about her. After many years of being completely clueless, he finally had his answer. It was staring him right in the face.

_How can that idiot not realize how good he has it? _He wondered, watching the scene play out. Sasuke had finally gotten tired of Sakura talking, had turned away, leaving a stricken Sakura in his wake. Naruto watched as the girl curled up within herself, as though to stave off the pain that she was feeling.

The truth was, Sakura was a lot like him. Both he and her craved recognition, thrived on it. Yet, where Naruto had never specifically targeted one single person to impress, more than happy with any attention that was thrown his way, Sakura centered her entire being on one individual: Uchiha Sasuke. She liked him, maybe even loved him, and was willing to do anything to help him. Even be kind to the village pariah.

The thought made him chuckle, a soft, lonely sound that quickly faded in the spring air.

o o o o

Author's Notes: I am not entirely satisfied with this chapter, but I figured that since it has been on my hard drive for a week with no changed to it, I might as well upload it. So enjoy.

Also, I've neglected to do this, but thank you to everyone who has taken the time to post a review. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the fact that people are willing to take the time to tell me what they think of my story. To be honest, I've always been a bit insecure about my writing, and to know that there are some people who actually like it... thank you so very much.


	6. Interlude: Kakashi v2

Disclaimer: See prologue

o o o

A young prodigy, scarred by personal tragedy yet determined to surpass the person that he had once looked up to. A dead-last prankster, seeking the approval of the very people who ostracized him. A naïve girl, without ambition as a ninja but still eager to help the people that she cared about. These are the thoughts that run through his head whenever he looks at his team, and he is both elated and terrified by the similarities to three different genin from so long ago, and what it might mean.

Hatake Kakashi does not believe in fate. Though many of his compatriots, battle-worn and hardened, subscribe to the idea that their actions and their lives are manipulated by forces beyond their control and even their understanding, he is not one of them. Fate, destiny, predestination, these are words for the mystics to use, and Kakashi has always been too much of a realist for that title to ever fit him.. No, he tells himself confidently, there are no strings that control what will occur, only the actions of the past, and their effect on the present and future.

And yet, looking at his team, he cannot help but feel that there is a significance to what is happening, something that is much more profound than the rules of consequence, and yet so much more real than the idea of fate.

It is haunting scene that plays out before him, one that stirs up half-remembered memories and long forgotten dreams. There are some days that it keeps him up long into the night, his mind brooding over what might have been and that which might still be. It is a nightmare and a fantasy that he has found himself in, an epic tale whose end has not yet been decided, and yet, there is a part of him that believes that the ending has already been determined.

He watches this play, this tragedy, reading the actions of each day with a scrutiny that goes beyond the minimal attention that he has given to so many of the events that have marked his twenty-seven years of life.

He does not need Obito's gift to see them, but there are times when he uses it anyways, viewing the world through a single crimson eye, recording each action, each word so that he can replay them at his convenience, analyzing every detail so as to better understand his growing obsession. And it is an obsession; _that_, at least, he can admit freely, knowing that obsession is merely another facet of every ninja's personality, a survival mechanism that is carved into each of them through the bloodshed and carnage that they are all forced to endure.

At least, he comforts himself, his obsession is not as harmful as those that plague his colleagues. Unlike theirs, there is only one victim of his obsession, and that is him. That he suffers, and will continue to suffer, is beyond doubt in his mind, and yet he finds that the knowledge does not bother him. He knows that it is only right, that his obsession and all that it brings is merely the consequence of his own failings, of the mistakes he made so many years ago.

In watching the three of them, he is constantly reminded of another three young ninja, a fact that pains him, though he will never admit to that, and certainly not to them. Yet it is there, the phantoms of the past mixing freely with the realities of the present, creating a surreal collage that brings an almost unbearable torment, and yet also gives him a bizarre sense of comfort. It is as though, through their similarities to those three doomed genin, he is able to understand, not only who they are, but how they will react, how they will change, and, more importantly, how best to mold them to bring about those changes that will help them become the team that his never was.

He watches them now, these not-quite teenagers, as they struggle through another D-ranked mission, another seemingly useless exercise that few ever understand the significance of. However, Kakashi is not known as a genius for nothing, and he understands these missions with a depth of of insight that few could ever boast to possess.

Teamwork, he had told them, teamwork is the one thing that would keep them alive to see another day; teamwork is the only thing that would allow them to pass through the crucible of combat, and come out, if not unscathed, at least intact.

He had told them that, and they had taken his advice to heart, a fact that he can, and does, smugly smile about. It seems that his instincts were correct, he tells himself, secure in the knowledge that he understands these three, that he can ensure that through their struggles, they can emerge stronger and better off than he and his teammates were able to. The mistakes of the past need not be the mistakes of the present.

Yet, even as that knowledge comforts him, there are niggling doubts that stir at the edges of his perception, Obito's phantom voice whispering that all is not as it should be. This is a observation that is noted, along with all the others, marked for its significance and shelved away in the vault that is his mind, to be studied, prodded, and analyzed until it gives up its secrets to his conscious mind.

The fact that he hears his dead teammate's voice does not disturb him at all. He has long been resigned himself to the fact that he is crazy, that in listening to the voice of a man that has been dead for decades he has opened himself to a layer of dementia that is probably dangerous, even fatal, not only to himself, but to everyone around him. Yet Obito's voice has never steered him wrong, and so he shrugs and listens, trusting his friend in death as he never did in life.

_The lines do not match up,_ Obito whispers, and Kakashi nods imperceptibly in agreement, his face hidden behind his book even as his eyes see everything.

It is true, he observes, and marks down the differences, pondering their significance. While the shadows overlap, they are not _quite_ the team that he remembers, and that suddenly scares him, because if they are not the team he remembers, then he cannot understand them, not as well as he would like, and what is worse, he cannot predict what they will do. With that knowledge, he is left to flounder in indecision, unable to choose a suitable path to take, not knowing which decision will be the right one, the one that will see these three survive and grow to be the future leaders of the village.

His eyes slide from his book to watch his team, eyes flickering from one to another before finally settling on the genius. For a brief moment, staring at the sullen boy, he is reminded of another angry teenager, a young man brooding over the loss of his father, the one person whom he had always looked up to. And, in a way, they are the same, as his father's flight from life is similar in a way to the older Uchiha's betrayal of his village. He sees in the genius the same arrogance that he once felt, that same impatience that the genius must feel as he scowls and sulks, anxious to prove himself. For a moment, he is touched by the none-too-subtle reminder of his own past, and he has to suppress the urge to ruffle the boy's hair and urge him to be patient, that his time will come.

And yet, the wounds go deeper in this one, a hatred that, while hidden, cannot be completely suppressed. That worries Kakashi, because while he resented his father's suicide, he had never truly hated the man, and that marks the difference between the two. He cannot relate to this one, and has no idea how the genius's hatred will manifest itself. And yet... he is also aware that the genius is a Uchiha, and that the Uchiha have always been the pride of the village, the pillar which has allowed the Hidden Leaf to survive for over a hundred years. He has the potential to become the savior of the village, and Kakashi is resolved that he will be the one to allow the boy to reach that potential.

Next, he shifts his gaze to the girl, and for a moment, he sees brown hair instead of pink, dark eyes in place of green. Like Rin, she is the medium, possessing neither the genius's arrogance nor the dead-last's drive. Though she obviously cares about the genius, there is also a compassion in her, one that manifested itself in her actions during the bell test, when she gave her lunch to the dead-last. He had smiled to himself when he had seen that, knowing, as he still knows, that she has the potential to be the glue that keeps those two extremes from clashing, to keep the team working together.

But, watching her simper and preen at the genius, he realizes that while the similarities to his teammate are eerie, the differences are also acute. While Rin had similarly harbored feelings for her teammate, she had been able to remain grounded in her sense of self, not allowing her emotions to cloud her judgement as this one does. Rin knew her duty and was able to fulfill it in a way that he doubts the girl will ever be able to achieve. Yet, the potential is there, and he knows that all he can do is watch and hope that the girl will find her center and her place within the team.

Finally, he watches the dead-last, the one whose impatience and drive so remind him of the person who would become in his final moments the greatest friend that Kakashi will ever know. Just as Obito was, the dead-last is driven to succeed, to prove himself to the people who currently scorn him. He must know that he will never match the talent that the genius possesses, and yet he is determined to try anyways, to become a hero in his own right, a person that the entire village can look up to and admire. Like Obito, the thing the dead-last desires most is the recognition that he matters, that he is important.

However, he possesses shadows that never troubled Obito. Perhaps they are a result of the monster that is contained within him, or perhaps they were placed there through the negligence and disdain of the village. Either way, these shadows impede him, cause him to hesitate in a world where such indecision results in death. The reckless energy that Obito had in abundance are diminished in him, a pained caution taking its place. The dead-last knows the truth of his origins, or at least thinks he does, and, perhaps as a result, he has begun to alienate those very people that could help him.

No, he thinks to himself, he does not know these three at all. There are hidden depths to each of them that not even the Sharingan can pierce, and that makes all the difference in the world. Though he can see the past so very clearly, he cannot see the present, and that is a weakness that could be their undoing.

He had once thought that he had known; the bell test has always been a tradition of the Hidden Leaf, one designed to not only show the individual strengths and weaknesses of each of the genin, but also to inspire them to overcome those weaknesses, to band together in the face of a superior foe. It was how he and his squad had been tested, and though they had stumbled, the bonds that had been forged through that test had connected them in a way that transcended their petty differences, creating bonds between them that perhaps not even death had been able to break.

He had known that they would have a difficult time of it. Even in his initial meeting with them, on the rooftop, he had sensed the tension, the struggle of three very different personalities clashing against each other, and yet he truly believed that, when push came to shove, they would succeed.

And yet, miraculously, they had not. In fact, it might be said that they failed spectacularly. They were, and still are, too wild, too independent. They did not come together, they did not reason out the purpose of the exercise; no, instead they behaved like stupid children, each acting only according to his or her own interests. It had frustrated him then, seeing the potential in them, knowing that if he failed them (as he of course would have to do), and sent them back to the academy, that potential would be all for naught.

He had wanted so badly for them to succeed, and, in his heart of hearts, he recognizes that this is perhaps where he had gone wrong; teamwork is not something that can be forced. You cannot make someone care about their teammates, not effectively, and in telling them the purpose of the bell test, perhaps he had tried to do just that, forcing the answer that he wanted to hear on them and letting them to parrot it back to him, instead of letting them come to the proper conclusion on their own.

They did not come to appreciate each other, nor have they come to do so now. The genius is still caught up in his own arrogance, still convinced that he does not need anyone else to succeed. The dead-last has withdrawn from the other two, and from him, drawing even further into whatever shadows have darkened his heart. Even the girl, the one he had counted on to bring the team together, is still caught up in her own petty dreams, ignoring both the reality of her situation and the harm that her fantasy is doing to those around her.

And yet, he cannot blame them for that. Their failure as a team is nothing more than a result of his failure as a teacher. In his arrogance, he thought that he could control them, that they would react the way he wanted them to. He failed to understand the differences between the people he thought (or perhaps even wanted) them to be, and the people that they truly are. It is his mistakes that have led to this situation, and it is his duty to rectify the problem.

Perhaps, he thinks to himself, it is time to retake the test. That was where his failures began, and perhaps that is the one area that his team would benefit most from revisiting. They are gaining nothing from this constant string of D-class missions, so perhaps it is time for something a little more challenging.

In the morning, he will petition the hokage for a C-class mission, one that will challenge his team, one that will force them to rely on each other, to see the value in each other. Despite his mistakes, there is still a chance that it will work out, that they will work out, finding the cohesiveness and strength that currently eludes them. They are young, and there is still room for them, for all of them, to grow. With the sins of the past hanging over him, and Obito's voice whispering in his ear, he knows that he has to give them that chance.

For all of his mistakes, he has to try.

o o o

Author's Notes: I posted an earlier draft of this a few days ago, but removed it due to severely negative feedback. For the record, while I always enjoy comments, and I appreciate people taking the time to give me advice, please try to coach it in a more positive manner. I'm not exactly insecure about my writing, but e-mailing me to tell me that a chapter has 'ruined this story' or that 'writing should be left to those who have gone through puberty' isn't exactly what I need to hear to remain motivated.

Regardless, I have edited this chapter, adding various parts and removing others, and here's hoping that I cleaned up most of the problems. Thanks again for reading.


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